Cracked

...But all those things are petty, and after I thought about it. I realised I was being selfish and ludicrous for even putting my unfulfilled life first. I'm sorry, I don't know why I did. I never do. Its always others. I just forgot and learned to be selfish.

Then my thoughts just spiraled down to what gets me down the most - me. I'm a failure, I'm a disappointment - I don't care how many times you tell me I'm not. In the eyes of others without your understanding and care, I am one.

Who looks ahead without some sort of vision at all? Or at least some idea of what they'd enjoy doing?

I've totally ignored it, and blamed my mother and sister for it - but really, I'm depressed not from what they've done, or what shit cards that life dealt me. It only comes down to one reason and its me and how I'm just eating up time and spitting it back out, how I'm always feeling sorry for myself but doing jack shit about it. And I'm bringing you down with me. Selfish and I'll stop.

Sorry,
Deena