Happy

I'm finally taking a new out look on life.

These days - apart from dealing with terrible jet lag, I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading. It's time I worked on me this year. All my life its always been about others.

You know, I never realised until now that I was so depressed until I was 18. I was so depressed in America. You don't really see it until you're happy. I remember the first time I left home, it was the first selfish decision I had ever made and I was so happy. I was actually completely overwhelmed by the feeling because I had never felt that before. I finally let go of the tension and thought, wow.. I was stuck in a bad place before. But still, I put others before me, I let others tread on me.

Now, I've cut off a few people that make me feel rotten & brought in the people who make me feel good. I feel great! I know the saying is to not hurt others, but hurt them. We choose ourselves to feel hurt or not. Nobody else. So if they ain't making you feel good then what you do about it is your choice. Trying to escalate situations to try and unload your own hurt on to them, well that won't work because they'll unload their pain, and the pain you gave them back onto you then you'll wanna unload all over again. Its endless.

I'm not saying if they get you upset just snip them outta your lives. I've decided to cut people out who have hurt me for years and years.

Its my own decision to be happy. If you depend on other people for your happiness, then you have a problem.

Zachary & Zephyr

I've just been trying to recover from jet lag. It's the worst I've had ever. Perhaps because it is such a topsy turvy time difference that its bullying my body badly. From the terribly lack of sleep, to returning back to the winter cold and getting food poisoning from oily Chinese foods that I haven't had in over 8 months - I have woken up today, feeling absolutely miserable.

However, I did see my first bundle of friends yesterday. I reunited with my old band - Josh, the one who got married last year has been blessed with the most adorable twins - Zachary and Zephyr. Josh used to babysit me when I was 12 so I'm totally excited to babysit his monsters!
I was so excited to see them, they're so adorable. But when I held them I felt absolutely queasy. I have a phobia of blood and they just reminded me of the horrible process. I would ultimately want to have one child but I don't know if I could squeeze one out. I feel really dizzy even typing it.

I hung out with Iva (Josh's wife), Josh, Quinton and the two twins for a few hours. Got to witness them crying, pooping, squirming, nappy changes, vomiting, feeding haha. Then Quinton and I left to go join his family for dinner. He's moving back to Hong Kong permanently this weekend.

I was so lucky to be spoiled with TWO PEKING DUCKS! My favourite! Then Quinton tapped me to look outside and I saw this dark man just glaring at me and I realised... IT WAS MY BEST FRIEND, DESHNA! Hahahahhahahaha who isn't a man but a fine woman I'm so sorry! HAHAHA. I ran and hugged her and her parents. I was super stoked to see them. The coincidental surprise made me so joyous!

The dinner was really good but my tummy was so upset that I had to hold it in all the way home. That's when I got super sick.

Today was a lovely day. Daniel my very close friend since we were 11 years old, came over and ate mum's spaghetti with me. We were so bloated. We then caught up and played cards.

Afterwards, I drove to Peter's to wash his car and clean his room. He is an electrician so his ute was absolutely filthy. He paid for my flight change so that I could go to King's tribute and I didn't want to owe any money so I worked it off. I can't believe its nearly a year since King's passing. I do miss him a lot. Peter and I shared stories today and I heard some lovely stuff that King said about me many many years ago.

Peter and I went into the city and had Korean BBQ until we rolled over belly up, and then we shopped for his work socks.

This was such a boring blog, I know. But I am so so so lacking in sleep that my mind is point blank.
I've started to make my rounds to forgive the people I have held grudges against. Well.... some might still need some time but its time to just let go. I see others around me that are so wound up and if your happiness depends on what somebody else does, then you'll have a problem. Gotta decide to be happy yourself.

Barcelondon

In the short day I had left of Barcelona, I went out on my own - towards the Picasso Museum. I was hugely disappointed when there was a HUGE line to go inside so I didn't get to go at all. I quickly browsed through shops and got myself a handmade replica Picasso cat. It is so cute. 

Then I went to a bakery and got my mum and I brunch, 3 baked goods each. Then we checked out and headed to the airport. Barcelona airport is a mess, so we got off at the wrong stop. Lucky we were early. Then we checked in and went through customs, to only find out that the Tax Free office was at the OTHER terminal, outside. We had time so we decided to do it. We walked there, to only be told by the Tax Free Office that we can only do it in London. Strange, because we had been able to do it at all the other countries and what does England wanna do with Spanish's tax. I guess its the whole European deal. It is so confusing though because Britain isn't even a part of the Schengen deal. 

SO, we walked all the way back to our terminal, went through customs again and waited for the plane. Waited for the plane for 1 hour… then 2 hours.. then we finally got allowed to be on board the bus that takes us to the plane.. we waited in the bus for 30 minutes then they decided to call us out. OH there was a technical difficulty with the plane, YAY!

I got bored in mum's changing rooms...

So the grumpy passengers waited and waited. We finally got to fly but we were gonna be in London late. The flight was boring, I finished the 50 Shades Trilogy, boring. I picked up newspapers that were left on the Gatwick train to London city and read that this "mummy porn" novels like 50 Shades is becoming a trend and that there's another trilogy coming out that's exactly the same. What is this? Are ladies that desperate? The stories are pathetic and even the sex scenes are so repetitious. I didn't even read them. They were yawn inducing.

We finally got to London, checked into our hotel which was this stuffy apartment. I thought I'd make use of the kitchen so I headed out to the groceries to save us some dosh. London is crazy expensive especially with the Olympic mania going on. Our metro ticket costed like 6 dollars each ONE WAY. I usually even complain of 3 dollars one way but this was such a rip off.

I didn't buy this

I picked up some food, some bacon, eggs, tomato, yoghurt, orange juice for the morning too. We slept hot and stuffy. London was for once, warm.

I woke up in the morning and cooked up a storm. It was pretty delicious considering we had no condiments (including salt). We checked out and headed to Oxford Circus. We spent the whole day shopping and eating, we couldn't be bothered dealing with the crowds anywhere else and we did most of the attractions on our first visit anyway.

We were close to having to go back to the hotel for our bus to pick us up to the airport, then we saw people huddling on the side of the streets… NO WAY! THE TORCH WAS COMING!

I bought this

We saw this Coca Cola bus that was handing out limited edition London Olympic aluminium bottles so we lined up. Lucky we were around at the right time, we only waited ten minutes and after we got ours, the line was HUGE! Mum had her bag zipped open on the ESCALATOR down to the metro. So crazy, we don't keep anything in her bag anymore so we were just like, meh!

The Olympics must be bringing a pickpocket fiesta as well. Same thing as their government jacking up the prices too anyway. 

The Torch was on its way but we just missed it. We had to go catch the metro back to the hotel. When we got to the hotel, the man was already waiting for us. He was a little cranky. So we had no time to sort out our stuff, we just had to grab and go.

This driver was totally insane. His driving made me want to vomit. 

I won't spare you the boring details of flights but I spent about 30+ hours in planes and airports. I went from London > Bangkok > Taipei > Brisbane. London was about a 13 hour flight, one hour stop in Bangkok, 4 hour flight to Taipei, 2 hours stop in Taipei, 9 hour flight to Brisbane. 

My legs swell so much up on the plane, they hurt so much. I don't know how people sleep so well. I had a spoiled rich kid sit next to me and put her feet and arm in my area, also head on my shoulder. She would also slam her head against her chair in frustration every 5 minutes and it annoyed the shit out of me. And when she wanted to get out she would tap me and say, "Can I get out?"

Sometimes I would say, "What?" on purpose so I can give her another chance to say something like, "Can you please let me out so I can go to the toilet? THANK YOU!"

But to no prevail. She never had manners. I watched a bunch of Chinese movies because I watched all the English ones on my journey to Europe. We finally made it home.

Home sweet home. Post holiday blues. Jet lagged.

I'm also in a little pickle. It has nearly been a year since King's passing, its amazing how fast time goes when you're grieving too. His friends and family do a gathering every 2 months so it was going to be on 5th of August. I thought that was gonna be it, so I booked my flight down to Melbourne on the 8th so I can rehearse enough before my concert down there on the 16th (Yeah I haven't done any promoting yet).

People have asked me to sing at King's tribute that is scheduled to be on the 12th of August. I've never really sung for anyone. This would be my first time I would sing for anyone who cares for me. Real people. America was people I could run away from. And its even stranger because, from King's tragedy came the beauty of my confidence, music and passion. So I feel weird about it all. 

I know he would want me to do it but I also need to rehearse with my band in Melbourne before the concert.. so do I do the crazy epic journey of flying down to Melbourne, back up to Brisbane then flying back down to Melbourne for the concert?? I know I know the answer but its such a money drainer. 

Sitges

For the first morning in a long while, my mum and I got to sleep in. This was a total necessary sleep in as we had to recharge our batteries. So after we diddle daddled, it was time for lunch. We had bakery goods, prosciutto and cheese croissant then a chocolate croissant afterwards haha!

Then it was time to start our big day. We caught the metro to one of the main stations, then transferred to a suburban network to head to Sitges, a coastal region with plenty of beaches to offer. It only took 30 minutes and the first thing we did was drink a fresh juice each. This mango coconut concoction was so good we ended up having 2 more each later on.

We walked along a street parallel to the beach for a bit, popping in through the shops then finally taking an alleyway down to the sand. We didn't pack swimmers on this trip so we enjoyed it from the sand. Well, Australia has much better looking beaches anyway so we weren't too sad. I totally get why its a haven for lots of tourists though, I mean the rest of Europe needs to go somewhere for beaches while in Australia we get spoiled with god-smacking gorgeous beaches. everywhere. 

Anyway, we met a lovely gay couple that we chatted with for about half an hour. They were from the UK and they were super friendly! Mum and I kept dropping smooth conversation enders but they just wanted to keep on conversing haha! Then at the end, one of them gave my mum and I both two kisses each, wet and sloppy on each cheek! But we were totally touched by his warmth.

They all have turtle toys on strings like pets haha how cute!

I didn't wanna expose anyone but this one is small so meh. I didn't realise till I put it on my computer… one girl topless with 3 guys just you know hanging, literally AND those 4 girls are ALL topless on a touristy beach! I would never! I sound like a nun!

We then realised that there were a lot of gay people about. I soon learned that there's a really great gay beach on one side, and even a nude gay beach further out! 

You can probably play spot the topless here too (just kidding, y'all are perverts!)

Anyway, mum and I decided to walk past all the different beaches and we started realising that even though these beaches weren't nude beaches… the girls didn't really care. I saw so many boobs ranging from teens to grannies. I even realised that I had accidentally taken some boob shots when I wanted beach scenery when I was flicking through on my computer hahaha! 

My mum and I found it SO super strange. Can you imagine just hanging out with your friends that are boys and girls and just waving your tits about like arms in the air? I totally can't. Maybe with girlfriends maybe maybe not really maybe not at all. 

It'd be okay if you were in a nude beach surrounded by people wanting to tan their titties like you. I'd just feel so weird having a huge beach street right next to the beach and children are running about, and people fully clothed too. Just me maybe! It was good to see the beach though and just do nothing for a few hours. This holiday has been more of a jam, cram, learn & walk lots kinda trip.

Then we walked back, had more fruits and juice and took the train into the city. From the city we took the metro to the outskirts to Parc Guell. A park that Guadi had designed. 

You think park and you think public, relax, flat. THIS PARK WAS ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN! You had to walk up like a San Franciscan street but worse, and luckily they had like 8 escalators along the way to help you out in between the walking!

Once we got to the top, we were not only greeted by beautiful architecture of Guadi but a view of Barcelona too. Mum was too tired out to go down to really see the architecture so we headed back. 

We stopped by a department store and I let my mum have one last spurt before our departure to London tomorrow. And after London? Its home time :(

My mum and I both bought some lovely togs on sale, a shame we didn't get to use it today at the beach. 

For dinner, we had the traditional Spanish paella and it was delicious! We were so surprised! I mean I've had Paella before but not this good! Yum yum!

P.s I give in, Barcelona is beautiful!