Happy

I'm finally taking a new out look on life.

These days - apart from dealing with terrible jet lag, I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading. It's time I worked on me this year. All my life its always been about others.

You know, I never realised until now that I was so depressed until I was 18. I was so depressed in America. You don't really see it until you're happy. I remember the first time I left home, it was the first selfish decision I had ever made and I was so happy. I was actually completely overwhelmed by the feeling because I had never felt that before. I finally let go of the tension and thought, wow.. I was stuck in a bad place before. But still, I put others before me, I let others tread on me.

Now, I've cut off a few people that make me feel rotten & brought in the people who make me feel good. I feel great! I know the saying is to not hurt others, but hurt them. We choose ourselves to feel hurt or not. Nobody else. So if they ain't making you feel good then what you do about it is your choice. Trying to escalate situations to try and unload your own hurt on to them, well that won't work because they'll unload their pain, and the pain you gave them back onto you then you'll wanna unload all over again. Its endless.

I'm not saying if they get you upset just snip them outta your lives. I've decided to cut people out who have hurt me for years and years.

Its my own decision to be happy. If you depend on other people for your happiness, then you have a problem.