Wednesday, November 7, 2012



If you don't want to get hurt, don't read my blog.
I'm an honest person and this is my vent space. Most of y'all would be told that I write a blog anyway, and its not like I'm not honest in real life - just reading it re-iterated is what plucks your dear heart strings.

I have a very bad memory and this is why I write it down. I go back to my blog and remind myself. I tend to forget what I did the month before, a week before.. sometimes even a night before. Then I get completely confused whether or not it was a dream or if I'm lying to myself. Its actually very frustrating.

I have a neurologist appointment in a week. I really don't want to go but they are making me.
Oh! I got tests done the other day. I am so super proud of myself because I was totally going to skip out on it.

I had an ECG done. I've never had one of those before. The chick was just like. TAKE YOUR TOP OFF. TAKE YOUR BRA OFF. And I'm thinking, but my dear dear precious nipples will be exposed! I made her get me a blanket. I felt so awkward, mainly because the doctors is like around the corner from my house so what if I'm just casually strolling by and they're like HEY NIPS, HOW YOU DOING?

I then had a Chest X-Ray done! That was nothing fancy except for a huge waiting line.

Blood test was the crazy part. I have a terrible blood phobia. I also can't hack people touching my inner elbow, or drawing blood out from there would most definitely make me faint. So I asked the lady if I can get it from the top of my hand and she was so sweet. She was so sweet throughout the whole procedure. Definitely a first. Normally they bitch about how I should just grow up.

I try to tell myself its just red liquid but I can't help it. My legs go jelly and then my head goes queasy. I think I'm traumatised from that one time a lady couldn't find my vein and had to jab me 5 times in one arm than 2 times in the right one before calling on the senior nurse who couldn't find my veins either so attached me to a machine to forcefully pump it out. Yuck yuck yuck.

Okay no more blood test talk. I did it and am very proud! 3 days later.. it still makes me queasy when I think about it, and I try not to think about it but once I tell myself not to think about it my mind thinks about it. Hahahahahhahahahaha.

I'm getting some crazy stress from the music business and school. So many assignments, so many things to do!

Okay rant over.