Thursday, December 22, 2011


We were meant to go to Tony's Christmas concert - the high school he taught at were doing an end of year show! But unfortunately, Bailey heard news that were pretty devastating.

The lead singer of his band back at home was found to be passed onto a different world so I rushed over to Bailey and MJ's to comfort them. MJ was in pieces, and they were both looking at photos of Dillon and reminiscing.

Bailey seemed strong and weak, fluctuating between the two. I was a terrible comfort, because it was all too soon after King and it seemed like the exact same situation. I went to the bathroom and cried. I felt so pathetic.

It was the first time I saw Bailey cry, and that brought out my already vulnerable state so we both cried in each others' arms. I really didn't know what to do for him, he was already a little upset about his two mates that died a few years ago - it was their anniversary that day and for Dillon to fall on the same day just.. sucked donkey balls.

I promised that I'd make him enjoy Christmas for once but I don't know if I can now! AHHHH I suck, when King happened I just ranted at my blog and cried on my own but I don't really remember what helped me feel better. He said that me being there is enough.

SIGH. I can't believe I'm letting this trudge up my hurt for King.
MJ went and had a bit of retail therapy so we went to Fashion Island, Newport Beach, Huntington Beach and Mother Markets the next day.

We had this strange smoothie, granola, honey, acai berries and other fresh fruits refreshment. It was called a Banzai Bowl - I think it'd be a great concept for Australia!


lalaaaanita said...

You can still make Xmas amazing for him. It's not like you have to make him feel 100% okay, or happy, but at least give him some good memories to look back on. I find that when you look back at the past, you usually just remember the good parts.

In reply to your comment on my blog:
I am glad you're not pushing Bailey away anymore. Because he seems pretty incredible, and I really like how you talk about him.

I'm working at a bakery, and at Cotton On Body. It's alright - I get a lot of hours and I sleep very little, but I do enjoy it ... mostly. I'm just exhausted atm. I hate Christmas honestly haha. I'm sick of it. Ryan'll be staying over at mine, and keeping me company :)

I hope that the US is still fun for you, regardless of what else has happened. Just stay positive, and stay happy. I hope you're feeling better. I've never lost anybody close to me before, so I don't know what to say ... but if you ever need to just vent - do it and remember that I'll read every word :)

Much love from Brisbane <3