Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Peter came over and got raped by Simba.
Ten dollar Japanese meals were then on the agenda.
We gobbled them until our bellies were paunch.
I thought sunglasses would disguise me, but a friend spotted me from yards away.
We headed to Westside Tattoo for my sister and I to get a triangle.
It sits on our rib cage, next to the right boob.
For every vertice is each of us - my mum, my sister and I to build the strongest shape.
It hurt, like a mouse giving birth to a horse.
We headed into the city to shop.
I bought a tea party dress, I say that because I can totally imagine myself with a cuppa while dressed in it.
I got a phone call - from King's family.
They wanted to see me.
My heart beat fast and my breathing slowed.

I drove over to King's house, I rang the door bell. I heard a dog bark - I don't remember King having a dog (I found out its the sister-in-law's).
I was welcomed by his two brothers, Cheong and Lung. I had met Cheong on several occasions years before, but I only knew of Lung from King's descriptions of respect for him. It was nice to finally meet the eldest brother but sad that it was at the wrong occasion.

Their lounge room was filled with photos of King and paintings from King. It was a little engulfing. His presence was everywhere.

I chatted with Cheong. I was the first person that King's mum, Aunty Rebecca, came downstairs for. She hadn't come out of her room for days. I wasn't expecting to see her because everyone told me she wasn't wanting to see anyone. You could read pain and sadness all over her languid face as I saw her stagger down the stairs.
I brought over my two beautiful letters to share, I could see the hurt in all of their eyes as they perused over his amorous inscriptions.
His mum asked if I wanted to see King's room, so Aunty Rebecca and I climbed up the stairs. I was overwhelmed as soon as I went in. I expected King to just be lounging in his bed, popping his head up and saying, "What are you doing at my house!!!"

Instead, I just saw uncreased maroon satin sheets.

I had a moment to myself, looking around, then his mum told me to take a seat next to her on his bed. I plopped myself down and recollected my strength.

She wanted to see me to tell me a few things. She started off with the fact that King held a special spot for me in his heart. Her wish was for us to be together as she knew that my head was screwed on, and supposedly I'm smart and beautiful. King told her about me on countless occasions. He went to the psychic once in his life, and his mum told me that the psychic said his life partner's name started with a D and is a close friend to him right now. At that time, I was one of his closest and the only D. So King and his mum thought it was me.

I had no idea about this at all. King's mum said she was sad when she realised King and I weren't as close anymore and she asked me why. I told her that King and I decided that being too close wasn't safe for us, and his wish was to not ruin anything and save me for the future so we eventually just drifted.

Aunty Rebecca went on to say how her only wish was for me to put love in his life. As ever since King's dad passed, King turned angry, aggressive and sad. His mum expressed how she was so disappointed in the path King took. She went on to explain that I was the anchor in his life and she thought if I had hung about he wouldn't have mixed with reckless friends and he would still be here. But she sighed and said that this was fate's play and she just had to accept it.

She told me that I am a special girl and that she hopes that I will thoroughly find myself the best lover. I told her that her son's criteria is pretty hard to beat. I knew she had more questions to ask me and that it revolved all around the fact that I wasn't there anymore, but she bit her lip and we went through his baby photos. We laughed at how goofy and happy he looked. She gave me one.

I had no idea how much she thought of me but it was nice to hear all that. I just wish I appreciated King more now. I just wish he took down that tough act facade down and told me. I just wish God gave him a second chance.

I went back downstairs and met his cousins. I went back upstairs and King's mum and I scanned my letters for them to keep.

I didn't want to stay for dinner so I gave my condolences and went home. Before I left, King's brothers and sister-in-law asked if I could read something at the ceremony.

I jumped into the car and got onto the main road. I think I lost thought to where I was going. I continually drove on straight, further away from the city or my house and just cried with him on my mind.

I'm not even being melodramatic, it was about ten minutes then I saw a sign saying Beaudesert and the epiphany struck that I was not heading in the right direction.

I stopped by the grocery store to get spaghetti stock and went home. I cooked, fed the fat Peter that was hanging about my house and then we designed a sticker. A crown for King. We kept it simple. With Chris' help, I hope it gets done by Friday.

As I type this blog, the mood in my room is dull. I think with Peter reading while I type about King it is creating a certain glum ambiance.